Jim Walsh's Big Hairy Weblog Thingy

Gosh Jim, have an opinion...

2011-10-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

I don't care if I never work for a Clear Channel or Cumulus station again in my life. What happened this week is an abomination. Scores of talented, dedicated broadcasters are getting the shaft, to be replaced (in many cases) by low-paid hacks and syndicated crap. With all due respect to my many friends who survived the cut - this time - why any broadcaster with a shred of self-respect would want to work for these incompetent sons of bitches is beyond me...

My Career in Radio, or: the Clear Channel Necktie Party

2011-10-13T18:52:00.002-05:00

The KFYR talk gig (or, as I now call it, "The Ox Bow Incident"), is dead. More on that mess later...

As I Was Saying...

2011-09-15T12:53:00.004-05:00

Been a while, hasn't it; well, we can remedy that right now...

In case ya haven't heard, I'm back in terrestrial radio, full-time. As of Monday 19 September, I'm back as the afterhost at KFYR 550 in Bismarck.

Your participation is highly encouraged...

They also claim Obama fathered two black children...

2011-04-27T20:35:00.000-05:00

A talk host of my acquaintance said of the latest birther flap: "It's great - I have something to talk about. I don't even have to prepare anything."

It shows, lady, it shows...

A Little Education for the Masses

2011-04-24T17:15:00.001-05:00

The word of the day is "officious"...

Don't bother looking it up in your Funk and Wagnalls; just go to the Smoke-Free Bismarck website. That'll tell you all you need to know...

Modest Proposals for Future Super Bowls

2011-02-07T00:51:00.001-06:00

Bag the celeb-singing-the-national-anthem-and-halftime thing; get some deserving high school/college marching bands, like in the old days. They'll get the job done, and it's a good karma thing. Let some kids have their moment of glory (betcha THEY get the goddam lyrics right)...

Why Talk Radio Is Screwed, Pt. MCMDCCLXVII

2010-12-29T20:24:00.002-06:00

So I was listening to a talk show recently (I won't say which station) where the host passed over numerous possible hot topics (like this one, this one, or even this one) to start harping on Obama's golf game, and why that makes him a terrible president. WTF? Do you people really want ANY listeners under ninety...?

...and to all a good night...

2010-12-25T16:22:00.004-06:00

Hope Christmas is going well for you guys. We did our package-opening ritual early this morning, after Lissa and I got home from our respective jobs. I got a bottle of Sauza Hornitos tequila, two Cohiba cigars, a couple of books and a pair of groovy T-shirts, including one with this image.

Lissa got a Family Guy DVD, a new makeup box, a book and some bling. The cat got a mechanical mouse (though he seems much more fascinated with the ribbon from our packages). After that we said Merry Christmas and went to bed.

Here's hoping your holiday is as blissfully "uneventful" as was ours.

(As a Christmas bonus, I have appended herewith a couple of small gifts for you: my favorite Christmas fable, and a tribute to Jean Shepherd [author of "A Christmas Story"] written by, of all people, Donald Fagen...)

Rip Another Page Off That Countdown Calendar

2010-12-14T02:57:00.001-06:00

Another reason why I'm counting the days until Oprah goes away...

Please, Mr Custer

2010-11-17T23:13:00.002-06:00

Just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider:

President Obama's children's book, "Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters," hit shelves this week to a bit of unexpected controversy.
At first glance, the 31-page book—which features short profiles and illustrations of American heroes like George Washington and Jackie Robinson—doesn't seem like it could stir up much debate.
But Obama's decision to include Native American leader Sitting Bull didn't go over well with the headline writers at Fox Nation, a Fox News website. Their initial take: "Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Killed U.S. General." (At the time of this writing, the headline has been changed to read: "Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Defeated U.S. General.")

Let me get this straight: Robert E. Lee kills United States soldiers and the cultural conservatives hail him as the heroic leader of a lost cause; Sitting Bull does the same thing and he's now a bad guy, unworthy of admiration.

Naw, those Teabaggers ain't racist...

I'll Say It One More Time...

2010-11-02T04:25:00.002-05:00

...don't vote.

It just encourages them...

Jackie Gleason was the true "Great One," and you, sir, are no Jackie Gleason

2010-10-31T23:20:00.003-05:00

Recently, a talk host acquaintence of mine on Facebook (who in real life is a very nice fellow who I wish would stop drinking the Kool-Aid on-air and offer some of his own, interesting real-life opinions), posted a comment about syndicated host Mark Levin, that I will charitably call obsequious. My response:

"Levin is a political hack with no sense of humor, who owes his radio career to his connections. The fact that this schmuck is nationally syndicated while scores of truly talented hosts are scraping around for work, makes me sick to my stomach.

"Aside from that, I have no opinion on the subject."

Dragged Kicking and Screaming Into the Future

2010-10-26T01:50:00.003-05:00

As we note the end of an era, dig this:

Right before leaving work Sunday night/Monday morning, I tuned my new Droid to the streaming podcast of one of my favorite talk shows, stuck it in my shirt pocket, put on the earbuds, and drove home without it missing a beat. I can honestly say the quality is better than than that of any car radio I've ever heard. So...how soon can we get one of these in my dashboard...

Strap On Your Water Skis, Becko...

2010-08-31T03:13:00.002-05:00

It’s now official: Glenn Beck has jumped the ol' sharkaroo. The fact that a major "issues" publication has declared him a serious presence on the socio-political scene and A Force To Be Reckoned With (no really, stop laughing, they actually said that) confirms it. He's preaching to the choir and they are vocal, but the mainstream has moved on.

For what it's worth, I notice that one day after the fact, he's no longer "Trending" on the Yahoo page (my search engine of choice). I mention this - and I say so neither horned nor toothed - because while most talk radio hosts are hammering away at the whole Beck thing, I wonder how much of the mainstream really gives a wet slap at this point...

Now The Old Boy May Be Barely Breathin'...

2010-08-12T04:58:00.002-05:00

Perhaps, just perhaps, reports of radio's demise have been exaggerated...a bit...

Shout! Shout! Knock Yourself Out!

2010-07-01T04:15:00.001-05:00

Some folks believe rock 'n' roll never got better than this; they may be right...

Aw Prairie Shit, Let 'Em All In...

2010-06-28T22:31:00.004-05:00

Having lived there, I know this for a fact: the east end of Long Island is teeming with thousands of non-citizens living and working there illegally. The catch: they're from IRELAND! Funny how you never hear a peep about them from Dobbs, Tancredo, Hayworth, and the other usual suspects. Naw, they're not racist...

Orwell's Revenge

2010-06-28T22:03:00.004-05:00

Reading this article about how Big Brother is busting people for watching him, I thought of the trailer I recently saw for the forthcoming Green Hornet movie, where we see the Hornet's limo tear through an intersection, setting off the flash of a surveillance camera. Kato presses a button on the Black Beauty's dash, launching a small missile that demolishes the camera.

I look forward to seeing the audience reaction to that one...

Immigrant Song

2010-06-24T00:54:00.004-05:00

My pal Holland Cooke recently had some things to say about the immigration issue and how it has played out on what remains of "talk radio."

With due respect to Holland, I am of the opinion that the immigration “debate” has been one of the worst things to happen to “talk radio,” or what remains of it; it has become, like abortion and gun control, one of those topics where you’re guaranteed to get “organized” callers, with pre-fed talking points (always on one side, never the other) and that has made for some of the most godawful radio of recent years (and that's saying a lot).

By the way, a much-needed alternate perspective on the issue go here...

Letters, We Get Letters

2010-05-02T17:04:00.001-05:00

From the old mailbag...

Ok, Jim.

Some of us have watched you be unemployed for quite some time. While you have been unemployed all you do is bitch about how everyone else sucks.

They have work and you can't get it.

Quit sniping from the sidelines. If you want to be a player in this business either start calling people out by name or shut your whining mouth.

Isn't that just precious...

Should Smut Be Illegal?

2010-05-01T21:05:00.001-05:00

The answer: Fuck, no...

Imagine There's No...

2010-04-30T19:27:00.001-05:00

Just imagine you're the program director of a talk station in a fairly large market.

Now imagine a tornado touches down just a few miles down the road, leaving scores of poor souls dead, injured and/or homeless.

Now, imagine that some host on your station decides he'd rather talk about some stink involving a handful of illegal immigrants in a state over a thousand miles away...

...than the tragedy in your own backyard.

Now please explain to me how that host...and that programmer can hold on to his gig...

Why I Am Not A Tea-Partier...

2010-04-25T19:16:00.002-05:00

Even aside from the immigration thing, and the fact that Joe Arpaio is a douchebag...

Me On The radio (sort of)...

2010-04-02T23:19:00.002-05:00

Join your humble narrator along with my pal Stacy Sturm and her Posse Tuesday morning, 7:30 - 10ish CT on URLradio.net (afterward, I plan to stick excerpts on my podcast page)... As the Wolfman would say, "Be there...or be square..."

Just Call Me Neo...

2010-03-20T00:35:00.003-05:00

About a year ago I applied for a gig at a certain News/Talk station in the upper Midwest, and was kinda bummed when I didn't get it.

Earlier this week, I happened to speak with someone who used to work at that particular station; his comments were, to say the least, interesting:

You are lucky you didn't get the gig. That place is a nightmare. The station manager has never been one before - clueless! I've never had a worse employer ever...

Sometimes, despite your damdest efforts, things work out for the best anyway...

Gimme A Ticket For An Aeroplane...

2010-03-18T05:37:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. Alex Chilton...

Books: Abe, Bennie, George and the (phony) Protocols

2010-03-15T21:36:00.006-05:00

For you pre-McLuhanites out there who still read books, here are a some recommendations: Lincoln's Melancholy, a study of how Honest Abe struggled with depression, and used it to his advantage; Voodoo Histories, an analysis of conspiracy theories; and A Fiery Peace In A Cold War, the bio of Gen. Bernard Schreiber, developer of the "Ultimate Weapon" - the ICBM; ;"last" but not least, Last Words, the George Carlin autobio (get the book on CD version - it's read by Carlin's brother). Enjoy...

The Past and Future of Talk

2010-02-20T02:47:00.002-06:00

I continue to be amazed and delighted at some of the lively dialogue I read on Twitter, Facebook, etc. Meanwhile, talk radio continues to bore and disgust me (like those two talentless douchebags I heard tonight on a certain Detroit station) with the same old totally predictable Rush-clone shit. Radio has hit the iceberg and I fear it's already too late to turn it around.

Then again, as an old poly-sci professor of mine once said, "I base all of my hope for the future on the fact that I've always been lousy at predicting it..."

The Question Man

2010-02-19T13:51:00.001-06:00

If you want a reasonable idea of where spoken-word radio is headed, check out the All Access "Ten Questions" segment with my consultant pal Holland Cooke...

Jim's Gratuitous Self-Promotion of the Week

2010-01-18T20:09:00.004-06:00

Talks are underway to put your humble and loving narrator back on the "air" (i.e. internet), at least on a part-time basis. Cross your fingers and stay tuned...

Death of a DJ

2009-12-25T19:14:00.005-06:00

Another passing of significance (well, for me, anyway): George Michael (no relation to the Wham! guy). Among the last of the great night-time DJs of the "Boss Radio" era, George is best remembered in the radio biz for his work at WFIL in Philly. He was also the guy who replaced Cousin Brucie at 77 (Bong) WABC, circa 1974 - and filled Brucie's shoes more than adequately. In recent years, he hosted the Sports Machine on TV. He was 70.

More about King George here...

And Up Yours, Tiny Tim...

2009-12-06T00:03:00.002-06:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

There, I've said it - Happy Holidays, not Merry Frickin' Christmas. God forbid we should acknowledge that not everyone is an enlightened Christian like some of you seem to think you are.

So...HAPPY GODDAMN HOLIDAYS. Deal with it...

Dump The Hump

2009-12-04T06:04:00.002-06:00

Forget about politics. The real story here is how in today's economy, with the radio industry on life support, the best they can apparently offer is a guy like Rusty Humphries...

Spoiler Alert: he goes to hell...

2009-11-29T22:10:00.002-06:00

Last night on TCM (I think) it was Richard Burton, chewing the infernal scenery through his trippy sixties version of Faustus. Watching, I was struck by two thoughts: 1) How great Liz looked, given how little she actually had to do and 2) How in hell (in a manner of speaking) Sir Dick kept getting work...

A particularly hellish clip is appended herewith for your pleasure...

Another Reason I Get Hate Mail, dept.

2009-11-08T02:01:00.002-06:00

Do me a favor: if I'm ever murdered, do NOT let them put it on Americas Most Wanted. Surely I can't be the only person on the planet who thinks John Walsh is a self-aggrandizing asshole.

(Actually, I know for a fact I'm not)...

It Is Ballooooooooooon!

2009-10-17T19:30:00.000-05:00

I think I know where that kid in Colorado got the idea...

Radio: Back To The Future?

2009-09-14T01:03:00.005-05:00

Radio and New Media guy Jerry Del Colliano suggests in his latest e-column that the radio industry could, just maybe, be “saved” if the FCC would turn back to “increased and renewed involvement* by the FCC -- basic regulation”…

They might as well, though I suspect it won't really matter; with Wifi, etc. the proverbial horse may well be out of the barn for good.

For the record, I don't think Telecom '96 wrecked the industry so much as it brought certain problems to the forefront that were heretofore bubbling under. After all, the industry wasn’t exactly an idyllic wonderland before ’96 (trust me on that – I was there)…

Make no mistake: what we now have in the biz is a variation on what we’ve always had: a government protected-oligopoly; the difference is mainly a matter of degrees. (I’ve always maintained that big business is the mortal enemy of free enterprise. Does anybody really believe that, say, Clear Channel wants a truly “level” playing field?)

In any event, as long as Washington bureaucrats control access to the AM/FM band, a truly “free” and “equal” competitive market is a pipe dream.

So sure – turn back the regulatory clock. Who knows, maybe it’ll help. Just don’t hold your breath waiting for miracles…

* One thing Jerry and I agree on totally: we don’t want to see a return of the Fairness Doctrine. In any event, it ain’t gonna happen, so all you conservaclone hosts and programmers can chill out…

People Who Died, Redux

2009-09-13T21:35:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. Jim Carroll...

The Man Who Fed The World

2009-09-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. Norman Borlaug...

Another (Not So) Modest Proposal...

2009-09-13T00:37:00.001-05:00

I propose we replace the term "czar" with "despot"; after all, it means the same thing (check your thesaurus), and it's a much more accurate description of the job: Drug despot, green jobs despot, etc...

Well dammit, I suppose I should say SOMETHING nice about the bastard, dept.

2009-08-29T17:05:00.005-05:00

Give credit where it's due: on two of my pet issues, immigration reform, and separation of church and state, Teddy Kennedy was on the side of the good guys...

Hope That's Not An Oncoming Train...

2009-08-23T23:41:00.004-05:00

After a long, dry spell, I've recently received a number of inquiries from radio stations expressing interest in discussing "future employment possibilities." The latest, from a market in the Northwest, came Friday. Economically speaking, the worst may indeed be over, if this is any indication. Wish me luck - I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, enjoy this neat song about about some people who died, from the author of The Basketball Diaries...

Oh, What A Night

2009-08-22T16:46:00.001-05:00

Sad to report John E. Carter of the Dells has passed on. Stylistically, the Dells were the "missing link" twixt doo-wop and Chicago soul. These guys were true groundbreakers.

Here's a sampling of Carter with the Dells and the early Flamingos.

Charging the Gates (down the highway of Good Intentions)

2009-07-25T23:55:00.003-05:00

Indiana attorney Joshua Claybourn (along with Reason's Jacob Sullum) make an excellent point about the Henry Louis Gates affair: it's not about race or abuse of power per se, but the dangers inherent in badly-written law.

Gates conducted himself like a total buffoon, but acting like an ass on one's own property should not be a crime. I don't think Crowley was a racist or a fascist or anything of the sort; I think he was a regular cop trying to do his job and interpret a badly-conceived and poorly-written law to the best of his ability. That's what is really chilling about this story...

Walter Cronkite, R.I.P.

2009-07-18T00:39:00.002-05:00

In honor of Uncle Walter's passing, here is what many consider his finest hour...

...and a somewhat curiouser take on his legacy...

Aaahhhhhhhhhhh Shad-aaaaaaaaaaaaap...

2009-07-11T16:13:00.000-05:00

I wonder what MJ's kids thought of Rep. Peter King's comments. Jacko is beyond reach; it's his kids who will suffer for this. King is a bully and a buffoon and should shove his self-promoting posturing where the proverbial sun don't shine...

(Aside from that I have no opinion on the subject...)

Radio: The Last Moonwalk

2009-06-29T00:44:00.003-05:00

In the summer of 1977, I was a college student preparing for a career in broadcasting. One afternoon in August, I heard the news (through word-of-mouth) that iconic entertainer Elvis Presley had died. I immediately drove to my local Top-Forty radio station (where I worked part-time) and offered what little assistance I could in getting all the relevant information as well as a healthy sampling of the King’s music on the air. The entire staff pulled together and our hometown station rose to the occasion.

Flash forward to a day in June, thirty-some summers later; I heard the news (through the internet, the contemporary version of “word-of-mouth”) that iconic entertainer Michael Jackson has died.

That night I tuned in our local 70s-80s radio station (the one that boasts of being "First With The Hottest Music News") and listened for a full hour. I heard absolutely nothing about Jackson's demise, no updates on the story, none of his music, no mention at all.

Sad fact is, I doubt if anyone really noticed; if you wanted updates on the story, or to hear any of the King of Pop’s hits, you went to TMZ.com, iTunes, your iPhone…anywhere but radio.

Radio, to put it bluntly, has dropped the ball. The problem is largely due to mismanagement on the national level, but in many cases, (as in the one cited above) a local market manager is in a position to make a difference, yet shows little interest in doing so.

Radio can be, and in many places still is, a powerful, engaging medium. All too often today it isn’t. Until certain broadcasters in our community are willing to deal with that fact, much of Bismarck/Mandan radio will continue its precipitous slide into irrelevancy.

Palin Rider, or: Shut Up, He Explained...

2009-06-13T21:59:00.006-05:00

More than ever before, David Letterman is my hero. The whole Bristol Palin flap is nothing less than a stroke of self-promotional genius. And make no mistake about it – the governor of Alaska and her wacky family are in on the fix.

Letterman gets a ratings bump. Palin keeps her face in the news (while generating sympathy among her hard-core following)…everybody wins.

It’s brilliant. I wish I’d thought of it. I wish I’d said it.

Having said all that, it feels kind of weird to weigh in on this pseudo-issue. But what the hell…everybody else is.

So here’s my take on it…

Number one: Letterman’s joke. Was it in bad taste? Yeah it was – so what? It certainly wasn’t beneath the dignity of Gov. Palin to drag her daughter into the spotlight to suit her own agenda. And the way I figure it, if you’re old enough to get knocked up, you’re old enough to take a joke.

Usually at this point some mental midget will step in and say, “Yeah, well what if it was your daughter?”

So allow me to clarify my position:

“Shut up.”

Then I would continue: If it were my daughter, who got a bun in the oven at such a tender age, I’d say she had it coming.

Whatever happened to the social conservative notion that an underaged, unwed mothers should be sanctioned for her actions? And not just if she sports a “D” next to her name…

Now to Sarah Palin. What really bothers me about Mr. Palin is this:

I don’t believe for one minute that she’s the perky little soccer Mom she’s made herself out to be. Most of us like to think we can spot a phony a mile away; well I think Sarah Palin is a phony. I think the whole shucky, gosh-darn persona is just something she does for her target demograpic.

That’s what really worries me: the idea that in the twenty-first century there is still a hefty portion of the voting populace that find the “official” Sarah Palin persona attractive.

Guess we’re still living in Nixonland after all…

Back on the Air

2009-05-08T21:24:00.003-05:00

Your humble and loving narrator will be filling in on WDAY/Fargo Monday 5/8 noon to three, Central.

It's my first time on the air in several years. Should be interesting...

Bordering on Idiocy

2009-05-01T19:20:00.003-05:00

The Seal-the-Borders crowd is at it again; this time trying to tie in the Swine Flu scare with the little brown ones comin' over the border. For the straight story on this issue, go here and here...

And if you think these clowns are not spewing race-baiting demagogy, then ask yourself: if the source of the bug were, say, Canada, would you hear so much as a peep from the neo-knownothings...

A Spector Is Haunting Congress...

2009-04-28T20:33:00.001-05:00

When libertarians (like myself) used to bitch that the Group of Old People had no room in the tent for us, the response was, "Sure we do; we have Arlen Spector."

Now - tell me again why the Stupid Party should get one whit of my support...

Credit, Where It's Due, Dept.

2009-04-11T17:46:00.007-05:00

Kudos to Nashville radio for rising to the occasion following the Murfreesboro tornado this week. (Much as the Fargo stations did with the recent spring flooding.)

In times of crisis, there's still nothing like terrestrial radio for delivering life-saving information and pulling the community together. The pity is that it took said crises to remind us of that.

What kind of disaster would it take to really pull the industry out of its slump; maybe it's better not to think about it...

No Tea For Me

2009-04-11T00:37:00.005-05:00

And while we're on the subject of of time wasters, if you're thinking about inviting me to one of those political "tea parties" that are once again all the rage, save your postage.

True, I'm as anti-tax and anti-government as they come. And yes, the tea parties (and the numerous variations) can be a lot of fun, and they give folks a chance to blow off a little steam. Nothing wrong with any of that.

But seriously...do you really think they serve any practical purpose, other than to provide a platform for grandstanding politicans and self-important talk show hosts? Puh-lease. Get over yourselves, guys.

Sorry - the fix is in, folks - and your media-friendly diversions are not changing anything. Just keep things in perspective, that's all I'm saying.

Though if they're handing out free beer, or even reasonably cheap beer, I reserve the right to change my mind on the subject...

Oh, and by the way...

2009-03-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Stop sending me your stupid petitions to ban certain Facebook groups...

People are entitled to their opinions. Deal with it.

Just When You Thought The Long National Nightmare Was Over...

2009-03-22T17:16:00.001-05:00

...she's baaaaaaaaaaaaack...

Jersey, Boys

2009-03-21T19:06:00.001-05:00

Helpful hint to talk programmers:

If you're gonna do political talk on the radio, do it like these guys...

An Open Letter To My Talk Radio Bretheren

2009-03-21T16:47:00.006-05:00

Guys and gals:

Get over yourselves.

I can't tell you how many times in recent months I've spoken with folks I know in the biz (many of whom are genuinely decent people) who just couldn't detatch themselves from their on-air personae.

Listen guys: it's one thing, I suppose, to pull that political posturing crap on the air for your faithful listenership; but I'm in the same racket as you are. You may be buying into it, but I ain't. Just dial it back a bit.

Believe me, there's nothing sadder than someone grooving on their own bullshit. The great threat to the spoken-word genre is not the PC crowd or the return of the Fairness Doctrine...

It's the militant mediocrity within our own ranks.

So (and this goes for left wing, right wing, or middle of the bird)...just cut the bee-yes.

I won't hold my breath waiting...

Paul Harvey, R.I.P.

2009-03-02T01:12:00.000-06:00

No one could tell a story like this guy...

Babies Makin' Babies

2009-02-23T00:09:00.001-06:00

I must say I find it amusing how so many of the Bible-thumping types who practically swoon with ecstasy every time some creepy hillbilly has a bunch of babies, are soooooo
disapproving of the so-called Octomom…

Of course, I’m sure the fact that she’s one of them thar Ay-Rabs, and quite possible a Moos-lum, has nothing to do with it…

Not that the "Return of Musicals" segment wasn't a ravage in itself...

2009-02-22T23:16:00.002-06:00

Surely I can't be the only person watching the Oscars who wanted to see Hugh Jackman brandish his Wolverine blades and ravage the first few rows...

2/3/59

2009-02-03T06:39:00.002-06:00

I think Cricket guitarman Sonny Curtis got it right: the levee isn't dry, the music didn't die, and every time some shy, geeky kid in the suburbs picks up a Fender Stratocaster with dreams of music and stardom in his head, Buddy Holly lives...

What It Was, Was Football

2009-02-01T17:19:00.007-06:00

Random desultory musings on the big game (as I count the days until spring training):

I rooted for the Steelers, if only because I'm sick of Kurt Warner hosting a goddam Billy Graham revival every time he completes a pass...

Good job from Jennifer Hudson. I love when they "soul" up the national anthem; just think of old those old geezers' heads exploding...

The thing I like best about the Super Bowl is that it coincides with the end of January, the worst month of the year...

John Madden: love ya dude, but hit the salad bar once in a while...

Is it just me, or is Bruce's hairline, ah, re-advancing...

Oh, and the game didn't suck...

Beumb...what kind of beumb...

2009-01-24T19:27:00.001-06:00

Seriously…what the hell is Steve Martin thinking?

Look…I love Martin’s work. His Beatlemania-like appearance on the scene in the seventies was among the few true high points of my dismal college years (don't ask).

I love the original Panther flicks; Sellers was a genius, right up there with Chaplin.

So…why can’t Hollyweird leave the classics the hell alone…

We Won't Meet Again

2009-01-22T15:51:00.002-06:00

Surely I can't be the only person watching the inauguration who half expected Cheney to bolt out of that wheelchair...

Faraway Places With Strange-Sounding Names

2008-12-29T20:10:00.001-06:00

Another winter storm moving in tonight; latest projection, four to eight inches.

Meanwhile, I'm dreaming of places with palm trees...

New Attitude

2008-12-28T23:25:00.004-06:00

So here we are, a coupla days until New Year's, and I'm feeling something I'm really not used to feeling this time of year...

...optimistic...

I have no idea why. Maybe it's the way the Eagles roused from their season-long slumber today and handed it to the dreaded Cowboys; or the fact that we got so much cool stuff this Christmas; or perchance it's that the wheels are turning on my eventual return to broadcasting; or the imminent arrival in D.C. of a new administration and the promise it holds to - just maybe - turn things around; then again it could be that it's finally warming up a little bit...

...or it could just be the new regimen of antidepressants. Yeah, that's it...

A William Burroughs Christmas

2008-12-25T14:12:00.002-06:00

This is, no joke, one of the most beautiful holiday stories I've read (and Burroughs is, as always, an absolute blast to hear)...

Vox Populi

2008-11-30T17:52:00.002-06:00

Check out this article from Reason magazine on the growth of personal freedom in recent decades. Particularly interesting is the notion that despite the massive growth of government, politics has become less relevant to the average citizen.

Which begs the question: why are most radio talk hosts still focusing on politics and nothing but...?

Instant Show Prep (or not)...

2008-11-23T20:05:00.000-06:00

This story is so compelling, the injustice behind it is so infuriating, I can't wait for our friends in the talk radio community to jump all over it.

(Just kidding, of course; since it doesn't involve bashing Obama/Clinton/immigrants/any individual with a D next to their name, nobody will touch it...)

Any-Port-In-The-Storm, Dept.

2008-11-01T22:28:00.001-05:00

“Talk Radio,” used to be about cutting though the BS. Now, in most cases, it’s about pro-war, Bush-loving, Bible-thumping, party-line Republican social conservatives reinforcing each other‘s fears and prejudices, with spoon-fed talking points. Forget about where you stand politically – this is nothing but plain old laziness, and it makes for boring radio.

Which is why I say thank god for Tom Leykis…

"...and the rocket's red (BOOM!)..."

2008-10-26T20:01:00.001-05:00

I just love it when they get someone like Patti Labelle to sing the National Anthem at events like the World Series...

...if only to imagine all the old-fart American Legion types out in TVland reacting like this...

Crock the Vote, part deux

2008-10-11T20:54:00.003-05:00

Perhaps you've seen that stupid, sarcastic "don't vote" PSA featuring all those self-righteous Hollywood goofballs (not to mention the excruciatingly unfunny Sarah Silverman). Well, somebody got ahold of it, did some tweaking, and came up with a message I can fully endorse...

Maybe-There-Really-Is-a-God, Dept.

2008-10-04T18:10:00.002-05:00

Best news I've heard all week...

Shakin' the Bushes, Boss...

2008-09-27T15:55:00.001-05:00

Farewell, Cool Hand Luke...

The Best and the Worst

2008-09-27T01:11:00.005-05:00

Scanning the AM dial this week (against the advice of loved ones who for some reason are concerned about my blood pressure) I came across examples of the best - and the worst - in 2008 spoken-word radio.

First (naturally) the worst: a well-known syndicated "host" (who I won't mention by name) took a call from a very scary female who rattled off a list of celebrities she is "boycotting" because of their real or imagined politcal bias. Naturally, the host proceeded to pull out his own little list...

Now, one of the best: my pal Jon Grayson, from St. Louis. Thursday night I caught about an hour of Jon's show: one slam-bang interview after another, tons of energy and momentum, and not a political geek within a light year of the show. (Check out Jon's show here.)

Thanks Jon...you made my week...

Brain Salad Surgery

2008-09-20T19:04:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine underwent brain surgery this week. Today I got a note from someone named “Dean” reporting on my friend’s progress (I’m happy to report he’s doing well, and resting in comfort).

Only one small thing bothered me about the note: when the author, the aforementioned “Dean,” asked us all to “thank the Lord,” for said friend’s recovery.

Gee, dontcha think the doctors might merit at least some of the credit…

The Future Starts...Here?

2008-09-13T21:48:00.003-05:00

A couple of guys in my home state are starting up a Delaware Talk website. I can't comment yet on the actual performance (it goes up Monday), but they certainly talk a good game, and from the look of the site, they've done their homework. Go get 'em, guys...

Sweet Soul Suite

2008-09-13T00:55:00.006-05:00

I'm back from vacation, two days in...and until I can drum up some new, wacky, creative musings, I hope you'll enjoy some of my favorite R&B rarities:

We'll start with Billy Abbott and Groovy Baby...

...followed by The Volcanos' Storm Warning...

...the Intrigues and In A Moment...

...A Philly favorite, the Formations' At The Top Of The Stairs...

...The Mighty Marvelows, with the original version of I Do...

...blue-eyed soul from The Magnificent Men, Peace Of Mind...

...a big favorite with the East L.A. lowriders, Patty Drew and the Drew-Vels with Tell Him...

...and last but not least, from the nation's capital, The Royalettes and It's Gonna Take A Miracle...

Somwehere, Georgie Woods is smiling...

Why I Drink, Radio Edition

2008-08-31T16:19:00.003-05:00

So let me get this straight: I can't get arrested in the biz, while this horse's ass and these two brainstems are gainfully employed?

Peachy...just peachy...

Those Durn Russkies

2008-08-29T21:38:00.002-05:00

Having come across this exchange over the mess in Russia, I submit the following:

In fairness to Putin (who I don't particulaly like or trust), he's had a formidable job in pulling together a rather large country on the verge of collapsing into anarchy. I remember another head of state who suspended civil liberties and even sent out soldiers to shoot their countrymen, all in an effort to hold together a cumbling nation. He also took his share of heat - eventually he paid with his life...

So, is it hypocritical to bash Putin for essentially doing what Lincoln did?

Joe Biden: the next Number Two, or just...well, number two...

2008-08-23T16:28:00.002-05:00

My take on Biden (and as a Delaware native I've met him once or twice) is that he started out as a well-meaning guy and got corrupted by too many years in the system. (I witnessed a speech in 1977 where he urged citizens to actually take the initiative in caring for the elderly in their own families and stop relying on the government so much. Yeah, he actually said that...in 1977).

On the other hand, I once worked alongside a certain Wilmington businessman with ties to Biden and that guy was as crooked as the proverbial day is long...

(Not that it blows up my skirt one way or another; the only thing that could conceivably drive me to even consider voting would be if McCain were to pick someone really, really, really, really, really, really, really, revolting as his number two...)

Johnny Got His Gun (and shot himself in the foot)...

2008-08-23T00:22:00.002-05:00

A documentary came out this summer celebrating the life and work of screenwriter Dalton Trumbo. I say “celebrating” in the most literal sense, since the movie (which is based on a play) amounts to little more than a puff piece.

That’s too bad. Trumbo was indeed a gifted writer and an interesting guy (if not always a sympathetic one - OK, he was an asshole), whose life would make for compelling bio material. Sadly, it looks like instead of a well-rounded biography we get more of the usual agenda-driven puffery (and counter-puffery in turn).

Jesus - isn't anyone interested in just doing a good story anymore...

Jerry Wexler: Founding Father

2008-08-15T23:31:00.003-05:00

One of the true architects of rock ‘n’ roll died this week: Jerry Wexler, co-builder of Atlantic Records, record producer and musical mentor to Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin, to name just a couple. Read of his life here, and witness his legacy here, here and here.
Sic transit Gloria mundi…

R.I.P. Black Moses

2008-08-10T22:28:00.002-05:00

Best. Movie. Theme. Ever. (Daaaaaaaamn right...)

Oh, Dem Benadryl Days...

2008-08-09T23:05:00.001-05:00

Welcome to allergy season. If you need me, I'll be under that rock over there...

Life Is A Highway

2008-08-01T19:19:00.001-05:00

The Reason Foundation has issued their 17th annual report on performance of state highway systems. The study calculates “the effectiveness and performance of each state in 12 different categories, including traffic fatalities, congestion, pavement condition, bridge condition, highway maintenance costs, and administrative costs.” North Dakota is on top, New Jersey is at the bottom. (Hooray for our side, I guess. Actually, the Peace Garden State is a pretty nice place to live if you don't mind the rural culture and horrible weather. And hey: car insurance is dirt cheap here. Now if only we could something about the Jesus Camp mentality...)

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Ass Cream

2008-07-27T20:19:00.003-05:00

Coolest. Website. Ever.

(Don't believe me? Run your cursor over the pics of the two chicks and the fat dude...)

Crock The Vote

2008-07-26T23:51:00.001-05:00

Well, it's pretty much official: I have completely lost interest in the presidential race.

Not that I had that much to lose...

Milestones

2008-07-25T21:48:00.003-05:00

I reached a personal milestone a few days ago. Bear with me...

I switched car insurance this month. Saved a bundle of dough, but there's a little more to it...

For years I've shared car insurance with my father; all the cars were under his policy, and he took care of it. I never gave it much thought, and he rarely bothered to mention it. It all goes back to my misspent youth when my parents helped finance my major purchases. Out of convenience, inertia, or whatever, I just never got around to getting my own policy.

Until now.

Bottom line: at age fifty-two, for the first time in my adult life, I am proud to say I am one hundred percent financially independent.

Well, better late than never, right Dad...right Dad...

Tree Of Jesse

2008-07-14T01:00:00.002-05:00

A thought or two re the passing of Jesse Helms…

Helms remains a curiosity to me; an acquaintance of mine who has connections in Washington (and is himself fairly liberal) tells me that Helms, for all his bombast, was well liked on a personal level and was considered a savvy politico.

Two questions: 1) Is is possible that at least some of Helms's "racism" was political posturing (a la George Wallace) and...

2) What does Helms's popularity inside the beltway tell us about the inside workin's of the town...

I (Still) Can't Drive 55

2008-07-07T00:45:00.003-05:00

Of all the really stupid things to come out of the seventies, one of the stupidest is about to make a major comeback.

Several states, most notably Michigan, are pushing for a return to the universal 55-mph speed limit. Perhaps you remember the last time we tried it back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. The idea was that you make everyone slow down to 55, you save on gas and, as a side effect, the price of gas drops. We all remember how well that worked.

What we have here is a classic case of the government doing what the government does best: making a lot of noise about an issue, until either the people get used to things and forget about it, or the problem resolves itself, at which time the incumbents rush to take credit for fixing the problem.

It didn’t work then, it won’t work now. Insanity is when you do the same thing over and over expecting a new result. Politics is built on insanity, or more specifically, the short memory of the public.

What about other factors like safety? Well, the Michigan State Police, in conjunction with that state’s Department of Transportation, say dropping the limit can do more harm than good. These two agencies worked together to raise speed limits on Michigan freeways a few years ago from 65 to 70, in an effort to promote safer, uniform traffic. It’s a proven fact that speed variations are more dangerous than high speeds.

On top of that, as a lot of us know first hand, most drivers will ignore the artificially lower limits. Speed limits should be based on engineering and safety considerations, not political expediency.

Does slowing down really save on gas? Not necessarily: according to the National Motorists’ Association, the 55-mph National Maximum Speed Limit, which was enacted specifically to save gas, had practically no impact on fuel consumption. There are several technical reasons, but what it boils down to this: Speed limits based on actual travel speeds promote better traffic flow, which reduces the amount of braking and accelerating on our roads. This has a positive effect on fuel consumption.

But even if it did save money, so what? Here’s the bottom line: if I’m willing to pay out my own pocket to drive a little faster, what’s the problem? You wanna save on gas…fine, you slow down to a crawl. Just stay the hell out of the passing lane, so I can get around you, OK?

That's Show Biz

2008-07-05T19:23:00.004-05:00

OK Hollywood…we get it.

You rake in massive amounts of dinero by shoveling dreck down out throats.

You take the most unappealing, unattractive and untalented people you can find and make them big stars…just to show us you can.

You waste our time with rehashes of cheesy sitcoms and comic books and get away with it, because, well, as someone once said, no one has ever gone broke by underestimating the intelligence of the average American.

So, you’ve made your point…you’re all powerful.

Now…would it be too much to ask that you make a few movies for those of us with an I.Q. larger than our shoe sizes.

On the off-chance you do, you'll find me in my bedroom watching an endless loop of Ice Station Zebra...

Here Come Da Podman

2008-06-26T20:27:00.002-05:00

You can stop holding your breath now...my podcast is up and running.

I've posted two commentaries since Sunday and hope to average two or three a week. Check it out for your own damn self here...

Radio Heard Glub

2008-06-17T20:12:00.001-05:00

I heard one of those Radio Advertising Bureau ads over the weekend, the one where a bunch of people "on the street" slam XM/Sirius and tout terrestrial radio as the place to go for "live and local" programming in emergencies.

Following the RAB ad, the station immediately went back to a, ahem, syndicated talk show.

I should also mention that this was a news/talk station serving one of the areas hardest hit by the Iowa flooding.

Draw your own conclusions...

The Continuing Adventures Of (bong) Captain Obvious...

2008-06-11T19:56:00.003-05:00

Camille Paglia has come to the shocking conclusion that the once-vital medium that is talk radio has devolved to a moribund cesspool of "hackneyed repetition"...

Geez...next thing you know, she'll be telling us the WWF is fixed, or something...

Is "California Soul" An Oxymoron?

2008-06-05T20:56:00.002-05:00

This is the jazzed-up version of the old Fifth Dimension hit California Soul as heard in the Dockers commercials.

Not bad...reminds me of Little Esther Phillips...

A Moment Of Silence Please...

2008-06-04T19:51:00.002-05:00

...for the musical force of nature that was Bo Diddley...

A Very Shatner Wedding

2008-06-04T19:27:00.003-05:00

So George "Mr. Sulu" Takei is marrying his life partner, as he can now do in California. What's interesting to me is who is not on the invite list: Bill Shatner.

No reason is given for the non-invite, but you can imagine what animosity might be there. But as my friend Perry Simon points out, "wouldn't you want Shatner there anyway, just for the amusement factor? And maybe he'd get up and "sing" a few numbers with the band. You can't put a price on those memories..."

I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together...

2008-05-29T18:58:00.000-05:00

Harvey Korman, R.I.P...

The Case For Open Borders, or: Mr. Tancredo, Tear Down This Wall!

2008-05-28T20:10:00.006-05:00

(Note: I have not routed this book through my Amazon Associates account at this time because I sincerely don't care if I make any money off selling it. I just want you to buy the damn book and read it, 'K?)

Everybody...get this book.

Get copies for your friends, your enemies and all the Neo-Know Nothings in your life.

O'Reilly should read this book. Lou Dobbs should read this book. Michele Malkin should definitely read this book (well, OK...maybe she can have Dobbs read it to her...)