What's the protocol...

Today is, or I should say would have been my parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary. Question: is it appropriate to send anniversary greetings to a widow (or in my case, widower)?

I fired off a note to my brother reminding him of the anniversary, "in case it should come up" and asking to send along my greetings. As it turns out, it has. He and Pop had dinner tonight partially to mark the occasion. I've been working serious overtime, so I'll call in a day or so.

Is that how you handle it? Damned if I know. It just seemed inappropriate to send a card.

Where the hell is Miss Manners on this one?