Saturday Night At The Movies...

...who cares what picture we see?

Actually, there are just two movies I really want to see this summer. One, March Of The Penguins, I plan to see in town over the weekend.

The other is The Artistrocrats. I have a funny feeling that one won't be coming to Bismarck any time soon; I may have to drive to the Twin Cities or wait for the DVD...

Burned Baby Burned

I'm pissed.

Check this out:

Former Black Panthers are hoping the phrase "Burn Baby Burn" will ignite taste buds rather than racial tensions.
They want to trademark the phrase that was born during the 1965 Watts riots in Los Angeles for a new line of hot sauce.
It would be called "Burn Baby Burn: A Taste of the Sixties Revolutionary Hot Sauce."

So why am I pissed? Actually it has nothing to do with the politics of the Panthers.

It has everything to do with history.

The phrase, "Burn Baby Burn" was not born during the Watts riots in '65. It was coined several years earlier by the great Los Angeles radio personality Magnificent Montague.

Let's make sure the man gets his due. Now, pass the hot sauce...

Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

I'm surprised some of the radio stations I've worked for over the years haven't picked this guy as their mascot...

"Selective" Service?

The Pentagon, concerned about the drop in enlistments, is asking Congress to raise the maximum enlistee age to 42.

Think about that. If they ever decide to restore the draft (and don't laugh, there are plenty of people - mostly non-military - who would love to see it happen), they could getcha right up to the age Elvis died.

The military turns away vets like a friend of mine, a retired Marine in his mid-fifties, who in the wake of 9/11 offered to share his years of study and experience in fighting both guerrilla warfare and Islamic extremism (he served in both 'Nam and Lebanon). "No thanks," they said. "You're too old."

Yet they want to be able to draft unwilling 42 year-olds.

Government logic, ya gotta love it.

Hail, Yes!

Somehow I've managed to get through nearly half a century on this planet without experiencing firsthand a major hailstorm.

Tonight, you might say I made up for lost time.

Wild, man.

Happily, no damage to my car. A friend of mine wasn't so lucky...

The Mouse That Roared

I can't be the only person who is tired of seeing a damn infomercial for Disney everytime I happen to surf past ABC on the weekend.

BTW, tonight they showed The Princess Diaries.

Pretty dreadful.

How bad?

The director, the execrable Gary Marshall, has done the impossible - he's managed to purge poor Julie Andrews of every bit of her charm.

Marshall is also the guy who stuck us with Julia "Baboon' s Ass Face" Roberts.

The man has a lot to answer for...

Letters, We Get Letters

From the mildewy old mailbag, my brother Bill checks in...

Jim Ordinarily, I wouldn't ask you to post anything on your blog site but this is worth saying: Would somebody PLEASE tell Jeff Foxworthy that if you do a stand-up routine consisting of little more than a collection of regional stereotypes endlessly punctuated with the same stupid catch-phrase, then YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK WITH NO IMAGINATION!?! I mean, if George Carlin doesn't talk about "The Seven Words" these days, Billy Crystal no longer looks "marvelous" and Steve Martin has long since stopped "excuuuuuuuuuuuuusing" himself in public, it's time for Jeff to DRY UP AND BLOW AWAY, nes poi? Just a thought.
-Bill.

Thanks, bro...I hear ya...

It's Clobberin' Time!

Saw Fantastic Four over the weekend and actually enjoyed it, though I must concur with Roger Ebert on one thing: if you have Jessica Alba in your movie why maker her invisible?

Fair, Balanced and Boring

Lest anyone think in the wake of Live 8 that the hefty lefties hold a monopoly on spectacles of smarmy self-congratulation, I assure you the mighty righties have their share.

Take Freedom Concert...please...

For the uninitiated, Freedom Concert is an event put on by syndicated host Sean Hannity, for the purpose of...well, for the purpose of promoting syndicated host Sean Hannity...

In the process we get cheesy flag-waving music, a parade of the usual conservative spokespeople and, in a nutshell, a huge circle-jerk of smug right wingers.

In other words, it's the right's version of Live 8.

None of which I have a problem with. Right of the people peaceably to assemble and all that. What I do have a problem with is the fact that it all makes for excrutiatingly bad radio.

Driving into work today, I caught a portion of the Hannity show. What I heard was one long infomercial for Freedom Concert: area traffic reports (the show takes place at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey), weather updates for the concerts, interviews with prospective guests and a lot of other stuff that has no relevance whatsoever to the 99% of the listening audience who live nowhere near Six Flags Great Adventure.

I mention all this because Hannity claims to be a champion of us Red Staters. Well, let me tell ya, Sean ol' buddy: out here west of the Hudson in Flyover Country, North Dakota we couldn't care less about your little wingding in the swamps of Jersey. Maybe you've convinced yourself that we're all caught up in the excitement of it all and will listen devoutly because we wish we could be there.

Keep kidding yourself, pal.

We'd like to hear you, or someone, discussing the issues we care about. How about some compelling interviews with the A-list newsmakers. And in the process maybe entertain us a little. You know, the kinda stuff that made guys like you and Rush sucessful to begin with.

Were I a manager of a Hannity affiliate and I heard that kinda crap on my station, I'd be very concerned about some hot local talent across town talking about the issues important to my market...and kicking my ass.

So keep pluggin' that little Jersey hootenanny of yours, babycakes. And don't worry about us live 'n' local Tortoise types.

Just take a glance over your shoulder once in a while. That'll be us coming up on you...

Nice To Know Their Priorities Are In Order

Question: Does anybody really give a wet slap whether Madonna was in London this morning during the terrorist attacks?

Show of hands please...

Didn't think so...

Now...somebody please call Entertainment Tonight and tell them...

Knee-Slapper Of The Day

Want a really good laugh?

Check out the second paragraph of this story.

(Go ahead...I'll wait...)

I'll say it again: there's nothing on this planet sadder than someone who believes their own bullshit...

We Are The Smug

Watching the Live-8 concert on the tube tonight, I'm reminded of something P.J. O'Rourke said two decades ago about We Are The World:

"Any time you see performers that pleased with themselves, you know you're in for a bad show."

So far, my worst fears have been more than confirmed...

(Update: Yep...everybody pretty much sucked, except for Stevie Wonder, who kicked ass. Stevie always does...)