Fair, Balanced and Boring

Lest anyone think in the wake of Live 8 that the hefty lefties hold a monopoly on spectacles of smarmy self-congratulation, I assure you the mighty righties have their share.

Take Freedom Concert...please...

For the uninitiated, Freedom Concert is an event put on by syndicated host Sean Hannity, for the purpose of...well, for the purpose of promoting syndicated host Sean Hannity...

In the process we get cheesy flag-waving music, a parade of the usual conservative spokespeople and, in a nutshell, a huge circle-jerk of smug right wingers.

In other words, it's the right's version of Live 8.

None of which I have a problem with. Right of the people peaceably to assemble and all that. What I do have a problem with is the fact that it all makes for excrutiatingly bad radio.

Driving into work today, I caught a portion of the Hannity show. What I heard was one long infomercial for Freedom Concert: area traffic reports (the show takes place at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey), weather updates for the concerts, interviews with prospective guests and a lot of other stuff that has no relevance whatsoever to the 99% of the listening audience who live nowhere near Six Flags Great Adventure.

I mention all this because Hannity claims to be a champion of us Red Staters. Well, let me tell ya, Sean ol' buddy: out here west of the Hudson in Flyover Country, North Dakota we couldn't care less about your little wingding in the swamps of Jersey. Maybe you've convinced yourself that we're all caught up in the excitement of it all and will listen devoutly because we wish we could be there.

Keep kidding yourself, pal.

We'd like to hear you, or someone, discussing the issues we care about. How about some compelling interviews with the A-list newsmakers. And in the process maybe entertain us a little. You know, the kinda stuff that made guys like you and Rush sucessful to begin with.

Were I a manager of a Hannity affiliate and I heard that kinda crap on my station, I'd be very concerned about some hot local talent across town talking about the issues important to my market...and kicking my ass.

So keep pluggin' that little Jersey hootenanny of yours, babycakes. And don't worry about us live 'n' local Tortoise types.

Just take a glance over your shoulder once in a while. That'll be us coming up on you...