Random Notes From The Academy Awards Show

Jon Stewart’s opener had its moments, but went on about five minutes too long.

I did like the montage of “gay” cowboy moments.

Nice small moment: Jacquin Phoenix bristling at some Jon Stewart crack about Walk The Line

The two Wallace and Gromit guys were genuinely charming and refreshingly unpolished. They made for the kind of moment that makes this stupid show halfway worth watching. Sometimes.

All right, really…what the hell is Jennifer Aniston doing there?

An hour into this, and already the George Clooney jokes are getting reeeeealy old…

It was sad watching Lauren Bacall struggle through her intro to the film noir tribute.

The backdrop to the song from Crash was a bit much.

Please, please, please…never again with montage of “socially relevant” films - it’s self-congratulatory, bourgeois-liberal bullshit. (I loved Stewart’s mocking response: “And none of those issues were ever a problem again.”)

…and while we’re at it, somebody tell the president of the academy that nobody really wants to hear his crap. Shut up and sit down, dude.

Itzhak Perlman…cool!

Bob Altman...also cool!

Memo to Selma Hayek: two words…diction lessons!

I honestly had no idea that Meryl Streep was the most-nominated actor of all-time. Geez, the one day I don’t read the papers…

Lily Tomlin makes a joke about the movie Nashville. The camera goes right to Dolly Parton. Yeah, tell me that wasn’t staged…

I’m delighted that It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp got Song Of The Year, if only so we all could see what had to be the Best! Acceptance! Speech! Ever!

Genuinely moving: the acceptance of the award for Foreign Language Film.

Nice little moment when Dustin Hoffman stumbled and laughed it off.

Ang Lee is one director who knows how to insert politics into an acceptance speech without coming off as a heavy-handed asshole. Actually, he’s probably the only one…

After all these years, Jack Nicholson is still Captain Cool…

One final nice moment: you could tell the producers of Crash didn't really expect to win.

Not that it really hikes my skirt one way or another, but I was kinda hoping Brokeback would win, if only for the thoroughly entertaining right-wing spectacle we could look forward to the next day...

We’re done. Go to bed...